HOW NOT TO GET YOUR TENT FIXED IN FRANCE.

Towards the end of the seventies, I was on a camping trip in France with my future wife when we discovered that our tent had started leaking at the seams. It had rained for most of the week, so action was called for.
With the help of the trusty English French Dictionary we concocted the phrase "avez vous quelque chose rendre ma tente imperméable à l'eau?" (Have you anything to make my tent waterproof), at least, that's what we hoped it meant anyway.
Later, in a huge department store, I caught the eye of one of the assistants in the hardware department and, as he approached, I stumbled out my question. He came to an abrupt halt, transfixed me with a haughty stare for several seconds, and without bothering to reply, turned his back and stalked off, every part of his posture radiating absolute distain. I waited for a while thinking that maybe he had gone to fetch something appropriate, but he never appeared again.
I suppose he could be forgiven. Talking it over later, we decided that I must have mispronounced tente as tante, and had actually asked him if he had anything I could use to waterproof my aunt!
It's a shame he didn't come up with any suggestions; my aunt could probably do with some waterproofing.